Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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