I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
