You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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