a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
