roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
