Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
