she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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