Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
