so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
