FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
