idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
