she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
