A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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