i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I would fuck him just for his dog
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