Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
