The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
well you can't waste a boner
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
