I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
