I don't think brook has ever known best
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
