absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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