Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
