One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
