If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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