how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
