just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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