...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
