Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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