But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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