Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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