she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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