you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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