TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
