he wants to bone in the snuggie
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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