Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
