Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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