butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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