So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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