I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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