I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
