But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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