420 ftw
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
