I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
