It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
