Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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