just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
