Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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