and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
