Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
