I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
