I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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