she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
