Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You took a bar mat shot.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Alive.
So much puke
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
